Thursday, August 13, 2015

Ok... are those butterflies?

Were we left off last time the group was making it's way across an underground lake to hopefully find the Rat Ring. Stalactites are falling from the ceiling and headed straight towards the adventures on their little raft.

So, they book it. pull as hard and as fast as they can to get away and unfortunately, all of them survived. Now that they're on the other side, the group decides to search around. Going down a small hallway they find a room that has a BIG skeleton in it... big with wings and sharp teeth and it's totally a dragon skeleton. Swarming around it are some...

butterflies?

Yep. That's butterflies. And butterflies are harmless unless you have butterfly-phobia (which I don't think any of them do.)

A few of them walk into the room and, believe it or not, are instantly attacked by the millions of carnivorous butterflies (HA! Harmless they thought. Why be afraid of butterflies, they thought....)

Now fighting swarms is kinda tricky. You see, millions of tiny things that are fluttering about in the air are really hard to hit with a sword or a great club or a fist. The group soon realizes this and panic, and in their panic start unloading various elemental damage, the most of which is dealt out by ye old faith bunny! Being in control of pretty much any elemental blast that you want is pretty nifty.

*At this point I am going to skip ahead. I apologize greatly but it has been too long since this took place, and so I have no idea what actually happens after this*


After killing the butterflies and making there way across the lake again (they had to freeze Ornack in time once more) they start heading down the path that was giving everyone a kind of creepy feel. In front of them was a BIG statue of a dog with 4 ears. (looks kinda like a rottweiler).

That strange feeling keeps pressing on them until, out of nowhere, Dora, Ornack, and Qila decided that this is their new deity, and will worship it... now... like RIGHT now. Not TOMORROW, not after CSI, now.

So while they are all worshiping the strange dog icon, Moggle, in his infinite wisdom thinks, "Eh?" and decides to question the goings on of her new companions. His looks very deep into the soul of the dog statue and calls upon it's essence. There was much of the glowing eyes, chanting, and thunderstorm calling in this process.

"Oh great spirit," Moggle said, bowing his head.

The dog deity looks down on Moggle and in a deep voice asks, "What is it that you want, little one? Why are you before me?"

Moggle looked into the Dog deities eyes and with great confidence...




Is interrupted  by a small child (the one whose soul is trapped inside the bunny) who has just yelled

"PANCAKES!!!!"



*epic time wizard facepalm Moggle*

"As you wish," the dog replies, and summons a plate of warm, soft, drenched in syrup pancakes, that the bunny immediately starts worshiping (not eating, mind you. She has no mouth. Just bowing down to in dramatic fashion.)

  *At this point I am going to skip ahead. I apologize greatly but it has been too long since this took place, and so I have no idea what actually happens after this. I know the group is saved by Moggle. Unfortunately this is going to happen a lot. So I'm going to write about the highlights of the quest instead.*

Next the group make it to a fountain that says "Blessed be those who do not accept the norm." If they put the cup in the water upside down it fills with fire breathing potion.

Now, the group is getting tired and know they need someplace to rest. So they find a small alcove that turns out to be a BIG room with a BIG statue in it. The statue is of an ancient goddess that, because of the modern trends, is naked.

Now if you or I were to see this statue, after what happened with the weird dog thingy, we would stay away from it. We would NOT attempt to toss a wizard up to its boobs so he can get his grope on.

Which is EXACTLY what Vaylan and Gram do... (obviously Gram isn't tossing Vaylan, that would be impossible.) Gram manages to lock onto a boob when the rest of the group notice another fountain with the words "Blessed are those who are pure of mind" engraved on it.


Opps. Big oops.

That statue does not like being fondled by a Werebear and 1/2 a wizard. So it kills them.

No really. Dead. Boom. Gone. Do not pass go. Do not collect your entrails that are now cast to the 4 winds.

Moggle, again, swoops in to save the day. He manages to chat the Goddess down into just cursing them. So now, whenever Gram looks at a woman, his eyes burn (literally. smoke and everything.) and Vaylan... well Vaylan got herpes.

But that's not the best part, ladies and gentlemen. Not by a long shot. Cause Gram has some integrity/ Not the "Maybe i shouldn't molest this statue" kind but more of a "oops, I gave my buddy herpes because I felt up a goddess... i should fix this" kind.

So he makes a pact that if he is completely celibate for the rest of his life, Vaylan no longer has the Herp.

The goddess agrees... and watches the door while the whole group sleeps.

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