Ok... so what is that smell? and who is Isadora?

Later that night, all the adventures are sleepy-time. The Bunny (who does not sleep) keeps watch but frankly, how much is a 6yr old trapped in the body of a stuffed animal going to pay attention?
Correct. not much.

So she DOESN'T notice when there is a sudden sulfuric smell in the air. Or the large group of goblins that have suddenly popped up and... grabbed everyone. Well that's unfortunate. Everyone is tied up really tight BUT because of how awesome everyone is, some of them are already free. (Vaylan isn't but if he decides to go full bear form he is gonna bust those ropes anyway... he's a big dude.)

Now the Captain of the Goblin party is talking and rambling and I honestly don't remember what he says... It wasn't important. Probably something like "Don't vaccinate your kids" or "How dare you not have a vegan option" but most probably "Blah blah blah blah". You get the idea. The basics are they're evil, there to eat people, and probably think the halfling is kinda cute ;)

Vaylan, being the one with the sharpest eyes, has noticed that Chadwick is making pointed staring motions to a spot by the fire. It's about then that Vaylan notices the toad ring next to the fire It's also about then that Chadwick gets his head cut off.

that escalated quickly

You read that right. Zip! Off goes the head. It bounces about and probably rolls someplace with his tongue sticking out in a comical manner... which means at some point he probably licked the ground... Remember kids! In eminent decapitation, keep your mouth closed. You don't want to suffer that kind of indignity.

His body and head are taken away and that's when people go hulk on these guys. All of them are in a rage. All of them are there to kick ass and hand out lollipops... none of them had any more lollipops. 

Needless to say, they owned. A few survived by running away like the french natives they are. 

The group is also ready to track them down and hand out more non-existent lollipops. But it is then that a lovely young lady wanders into the camp. Her name is Isadora. Instantly both the Half-Orc and the Half dead wizard are in love.

when I say lovely young lady I mean dead sexy

She hears the groups plan to go avenge their friend but tells them it's a suicide mission. Like... a fly is trying to attack a Venus fly trap in order to avenge it's fallen comrades. Unfortunately the outcome of this tact would be the same result as the stupid fly: discovering a new definition of pain as they are slowly digested. Or they will raped, killed, eaten, and sewn into clothing, though not necessarily in that order.

She instead asks if she can join them on their trip to Redwall, the place that Chadwhick translated from the scroll as housing the Rat Deity ring.

Sure. Why not. She pretty sexy.

So they start their trip. A few days later they reach the city of Redwall. It is a desert city built into the sides of a giant red rock (think Australia) with a teared city layout. It's situated in a half circle with one main outer wall close to 80 feet high and 5 man gates set at intervals around the wall. After that it forms a kind of waggon wheel, with walls stretching from the main wall to the plaza of a giant palace. A second wall sets inside that city, halfway between the main wall and the palace, and it separates the living areas and markets from the palace, prison, and guard house along with a few other noble houses and swankier shops.

The architecture of the city looks like a time line. Newer buildings and house are just build on the top of other ones after the city is conquered by a new leader. The person in charge now is a man by the name of Duke Sky. He was at one time an adventurer as well and loves to accommodate them. He has even set up an enormous library in order to assist them on new information they might need. 

So that's what the group finds when they get there. First thing they decide to do is get the rest of the scroll translated. Not knowing where to begin they head to a local pub to ask information. Or at least, the bunny does. She sets off and prays that everyone else follows her, cause she don't need no man! she will live her own life. 

Hell yes bunny. You can do it! 

Moving on. They gain information that says that if they look in the library (shock) and decided to head that way. 

Or rather, the bunny, Qila (that is all) Maybe Isadora as well... A few of them go to the library.

When they show up they are stopped by someone with a long drawl that would put anyone to sleep, though why you would want to sleep near this guy is beyond me. He looks like he might steal your kidney and use it as a pocket watch.
He introduces himself as the butler (creeeeeeeepppppppyyyyyy) and asks if he can help them. After explaining what they are looking for the butler giggles to himself in a "gonna get his throat punched" kind of way and explains they are not allowed into the library. He also steals the bunny. (Not gonna lie, dude sucks.)

That's when Qila and Isadora come up with a plan.... break into the library at night and steal what they can!!!!!!!! Woot! Rebels!

That's when they wait until time to break in... So here is the tricky part... the guys of the group Gram, Vaylan, and Ornak have the EXACT same idea. On the same night... and pretty much the same time.

Now I sadly do not recall most of what goes down. Highlights
Qila and Isadora break in without too much trouble.
Gram and Vaylan I'm pretty sure have to knock out some guards.
Ornack is drunk out on the front steps.
Qila scars a man for life by basically slicing his face off...
Vaylan scars people so bad they die.
The bunny throws a books case at some people.
Ornack is singing while drunk on the front steps.
Lots of guards... lots of them die (Vaylan doesn't know his own strength)
Ornack is REALLY drunk. He is also chatting with a guard named Isaac.

They lit the library on fire. 

The eventually find the book and make it out of the library which is in the castle. But how are they going to get away with this? They can' have ANOTHER city out for their blood....

enter the most powerful creature they have ever met in their lives... a creature of legend and one the stands out in sophistication and raw cunning. A creature that is wise, long lived, able to travel through time, and a cat.

Meet Moggle. An orange tabby cat that can control time.

Shit just got real. 

Ok... what is the zodiac?

Where we left off the group had just found out they were responsible for the death/soul mutation of a young girl so that now she is a whisk wielding, pink bunny stuffed animal that is immune to fire and can absorb energy. (Which in all honesty is really awesome, but a tiny bit sad.)

Now the group is on the run. They are wanted by the guard for the murder of one of their knights so they must hide out in a lot of unsavory places. Their only hope is to sneak out of the city but that's kinda hard when the entire city is on lock down.

Gram, who uses a disguise self spell to travel the city looking for options, decides to sell some of the loot they got in the sewer and forest tower in order to help pay for an escape. When he tries to sell the ZODIAC scroll, the merchant just laughs and says he doesn't need any of that junk and directs Gram to a wizard by the name of Chadwick who owns a shop in the city.

Chadwick: Tall, stringy, short hair and longish nose. He is busy playing with a fly buzzing around the desk when Gram walks in.  

They chat. blah blah blah.

That's when the scroll comes out. And that's when Chadwick gets a face like this:

This is what his face looked like. 

He has heard of the zodiac scroll and had actually come to the city in order to find it. He says he is willing to help the group sneak out of the city as long as they take him with them. (Gram is suspicious, but he takes the win.)

This is the plan: Massive disguise spells that will allow the group to join a supply train that's going towards one of the bigger raiding parties for the city. They wait for their chance and then scurry away.

The plan goes well. They get out of the city without much hassle and join a supply train. With them are two knights, an archer, and a guy who just owns the horses they are using.

While riding they talk to their companions and learn that the city is under siege from goblins. Instead of fighting all out against them, the city counsel  decided to close the city, and just wait for the horde to leave (they had the supplies so they were fine). They also sent out small raiding parties in order to weaken the goblins just encase a real fight broke out.

The problem is, some of the supply trains (like this one) have been getting hit by goblin raids as well. It is suspected that there is a mole someplace in the city giving out information.

It was about this time that Vaylan (bear man himself) starts to smell... sulfur?  Yep, that is totally sulfur. That's weird...


Boom. Horse is dead. Hit with a flying arrow right to the neck. Falls over like a drunk frat boy who skips leg days.

And that's when the goblins attack.

Goblin

This is a goblin. Small but strong. WAY meaner and harder to deal with than kobolds. They tend to stick to caves and dungeons, but it's not unusual to have them terrorize villages, or to see them cry. (10 points to whoever gets that reference.)

Now these guys start running up and yell, "Kill the non-beilibers!" (Yes you read that correctly. I am of the opinion that all fans of the beibs are secretly goblins in heavy makeup. Think about it: small, good at forming militia groups, and dumber than a high school freshman trying to convince the world that it's a grown-up now.)

Well, the group sets to work killing ickel-gobbli-kins. (Insert dramatic BOOM CRASH SLASH and ZING here.)

The fight isn't what matters. What matters is while the battle was going on, Chadwick tells Ornack that this was their chance to run. Just abandon the soldiers and slip away during the battle.

Ornack is now feeling the weight of a moral dilemma: Leave and hopefully these people survive or stay and fight, in which case they will probably die.

Ornack thinks... and thinks... and thinks...and thinks... and thinks...and thinks... and thinks... and thinks... and thinks... and so on.

They run. He yells to the rest of the group and they all follow suit, just as they see Worg Riders headed their way.

These guys are running into battle. They are Paladins of the Beiber world. 

And so, the group takes off. Behind them they here yells from the knights "You've betrayed us! You cowards!" and then they die. So it's all good.

Later that night, once they have made it to a safe location, Chadwick shares with them the legend of the zodiac rings.




Long long ago, there was an animalistic deity who hated the relentless march of man on nature. He warred against men but their progress would not be stopped. Eventually the deity felt his consciousness waning and decided to split his being into thirteen animal spirits. Each one could be distinguished by the fact that each one was much larger than it's mortal counterparts, was highly intelligent, and each worn a distinctive ring around it's neck.

The animals included 9 minor deities: the hound, the monkey, the ox, the boar, the toad, the frog, the hare, the bear, the tiger, the rat, and the snake. Also 3 major deities that ruled over their domain: the rooster in the heavens, the octopus in the sea, the elephant over all the land.

Once this zodiac was created, the old god faded away. These new gods were also no longer angry with the humans. So they ruled their domains in relative peace, though guarded them viciously if attacked.

At this point came a clan of dwarfs, who saw the chance to take control over those deities. The tracked down and slew three of them: the toad, the hare, and the rooster. Once the gods were killed, their rings shrunk down to be worn by someone new, and each granted them amazing power, each unique to the deity it came from. It wasn't long however until the dwarfs went to war with each other over the rings, and eventually split into three factions, and the whereabouts of the remaining deities was lost.  


Until now...

Chadwick went on to explain that the scroll they had found could be used to find the others. He could translate the inscriptions and deciphered that the nearest ring resided in the city of REDWALL to the west.

At this point the group showed doubt. I'm pretty sure it was Vaylan who spoke up, asking how he knew these legends were true.

Chadwick grinned and pulled a long chain from under his shirt. On it was a black ring that was smooth on the inside and rough and bumpy on the outside. It gleamed in the light as he placed it on his finger and immediately thrust his hand into the fire. (the ring makes the wearer completely fire proof).

He then jumped nearly 20 ft from a standing position, disappearing into the dark before launching back again.

"This is the toad ring."

The group nodded in the mutual appreciation of the rings awesome. agreed to find the rat ring, and went to bed.      

Ok... Who is that bunny?

When the group gets back to the city... no one is there. The guards aren't there. The archers aren't there. The wizard isn't there. The Knight is still sorta there... you know... his burnt remains and all that... But he doesn't count. Point: the place is deserted.
And when they make their way to the man hole cover... it's open.
And when they get to the room with the dire crocodile... it's dead.
And the trap door thingy is open.

Charity, sensing something is wrong, takes off to find her sisters.
It takes a little while to catch up to her. She has found  the middle sister Hope. As it turns out, because of the death of the knight (a.k.a Sir Crispy) The guard did a more thorough search of the area to find weaknesses in the fortifications. It didn't take them long to backtrack the groups movements though the sewers and locate anyone who noticed them (hint: the inn keeper where the party was housing the girls.)

Hope was ambushed by guards while she was at work. She managed to get away... but when she made it back to the inn, she saw the guards dragging Grace out. She was still very sick and wasn't in complete control of her powers (reminder: she has the traits of a psionic. Meaning psychic. Meaning she can do pretty much anything anyone else can do... but with her mind.)

While trying to fight back she released a huge amount of psionic energy... but the stress was too much for her. She died while trying to get away.

Now the girls blame the group... if they had hurried they could have saved her. Or better yet, they could have left the girls alone and the guards never would have found their hiding place. Or better yet, maybe they shouldn't have LIT A KNIGHT ON FIRE! (I'm looking at you Vaylan and Gram)

The girls leave, hating the group.

That night, while making their way to an inn (they have to be sneaky since they are wanted fugitives now...) when Qila hears something behind them. They all turn, and out of the shadows emerges...

The Good King, Mr. Schnibles (He is supposed to be holding a whisk instead of a knife)

It's the small pink bunny that Grace was holding that first time they met... It only takes a few moments to realize that what everyone else had assumed was Grace trying to defend herself, was actually her transferring her consciousness from her weak, sick body, to a body she knew couldn't get hurt. And now she can go on adventures like she always wanted.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the end of the first quest "Chasing Charity".

Tune in next time when the party learns about the mysterious Zodiac scroll, and the incredible powers it can lead them to.

Ok... So where is this bird?

Where we left off the group they had made it past a LUDICROUSLY huge crocodile without being thrashed into bits. They now exit the sewer and are outside the wall! (Obviously a slightly concealed manhole cover, that had been overlooked during the defense of the city. Why? Cause I said so that's why!)

When they make it out the find them selves in a small field. Thy happened to pop out in a space between some bales of hay and the city wall (lucky, right?). After a quick examination of their surroundings they realize they are... Well surrounded. 10 archers on the walls above them, two more on platforms guarding the path that leads to the city. Farther ahead on one end of a bridge that leads to a forest is a wizard. 5 or 6 guards stand watch at the city gate and a lone knight was patrolling the grounds and barking orders.  

 And our group is breaking a lot of rules by being outside the walls. 

O_O 

Now the problem is how to get past everyone in order to get to the forest. They could set fire to the hay bales. They could create a silent image in order to distract the guards. There's lots of options. So the finale plan is this: create as much mayhem as humanly possible.

• Hay bales on fire? Check. 
• Silent image of invading army? Check.  
• Letting a bunch of horses go in order to run around like the mad killing machines they are? Double check. 
• The knight not believing it for one second? Check.

The problem is the knight was very vigilant... and so he was walking right toward the group where they were hiding behind the horse stalls. That's when Gram has the marvelous idea to put grease on the ground so the guy falls and they can run! Awesome! 

He doesn't even slip a little. Gram might as well have summoned "ground of makes you walk better like a boss". 

Well that's when the plan falls apart. Gram and Vaylan decide "What the heck. Let's just light this dude on fire."  

Pretty much every body's reaction when the knight was cooked alive in his armor

Yea. They light him on fire. Obviously the knight was caught a little off guard and thus was cooked like a tinfoil dinner. 

The group, capitalizing on the sudden bar-b-q, make a run for it. They end up knocking out the two archers on the watch tower AND the wizard watching the bridge (he wasn't ready). 

And thus the group makes it to the woods.   

Now they set to work trying to actually find the place where this giant freaking owl lives. They just start walking in the woods, hoping they stumble across something. Road map, knowledgeable woods hermit, sign post, divine intervention, anything really. 

First thing they find!! Dead deer. Fresh kill. Looks like wolves... that's sad. 

Next they find... well wolves. A whole pack of them! The team sets to work tearing them apart. The true hero of this battle, however, is Eddie. That's right. The dire rat stead. Kills at least 3 of the wolves. Yea. That rat owns. 

They finish off the wolves but... what is that sound? 

Forest Troll. Big, strong, stupid. 

Well, that would be a forest troll. 

This is a forest troll. Big, strong, stupid. One heard the group fighting the wolves and thought it should investigate. 

The problem is, there is NO WAY this group is taking on a fulling grown forest troll, and living to tell the tale. They are NOT Harry Potter and Ron Weasley. They do not go to Hogwarts. In fact, only one of them can do magic. 

So they hide. Up a tree they go (Gram needs some help climbing and hiding.)

But they make it out OK. The big guy eventually loses interest and wanders off. The team gets out of the tree and runs the opposite direction. It's not long before they come across a GIANT panda. And I'm talking GIANT. Makes Vaylan in his bear form look tiny. 

So of course they go up to it to ask directions.

Vaylan (being basically half bear) walks up and is like "Yo! My peep. Sup?"
The panda, obviously having no previous affiliations with this company, just nods politely and continues munching of... I don't know... bamboo or something.

It was also about this point that Gram, being Gram-y, decides to sneak up behind the panda the size of an elephant, and RIP SOME OF ITS HAIR OUT. Well, Mr. Panda is having none of that, and smacks Gram so hard he flies 10 or 20 yards. (Yea... panda no play nice with tiny wizard.)

But thankfully, the panda doesn't take to much offence to this and continues chatting it up with Vaylan. He mentions that there are some people in the tower over there and they may know some stuff maybe.

(Panda Exit stage Left)

With many nods and "Yea that sounds like a good idea"s the group heads over to the ruined tower and enters.

It's about that time they are attacked by a bandit who was hiding in the room. Well... it is one against 4 so AND a giant rat-o-doom... so... he loses.

They make their way up the stairs but obviously the guy from downstairs made a bit of a ruckus when he died. So they are being shot at by an archer. ENTER! THE MAGICAL BEAR OF REALLY HIGH JUMPING!!!

Well... OK it was just Vaylan. But man did he jump. Clears the remaining distance to the top with a single jump and the team proceeds to surround the baddie.

Boom. Dead.

Now, for the cool part.

*Knock knock knock* (Vaylan KICKS DOWN THE DOOR) "KNOCK KNOCK!!! IT'S A CANDY-GRAM!"

The team charges in and starts taking on a room full of bandits. Each person takes out at least one other except maybe Gram... honestly don't remember if he did or not.







AND at one point Qila... um... breaks Gram's knee cap. Oops. She missed while swinging.

  

The group defeats everyone eventually and opens up the HUGE chest in the room. 

And there is stuff in it... stuff in it for sure... none of which I can recall at the moment... BUT there was also a MAP that showed where they could find the owl. Win.


Instead of setting off right way, the group waits the night and gets some rest. The next morning, bright and early, they head out and head east towards the mountains. They don't run into anything and make it thought the pass just fine (though at some point there was supposed to be a spider there).

That's when they find the owl... and it is HUGE. I'm talking HUUUUUGGGE. Easily make off with the giant panda from before.  And....

It's asleep.
(It's daytime, what did you expect?)

As the group is thinking of a way to get to the owl without dying, Charity takes off. She is sprinting to the owl as quickly and quietly as she can... she grabs a feather... and makes it back unscathed.

Yea kinda....

The group then uses the rest of the day and travel back to the city. But when they show up to the gates... there is no one there... no guards, no archers, no wizard. (The knight wouldn't be there anyway 'cause he's crispy.) 

 And  that's when they knew... something had gone horribly wrong. 

Ok... so meeting the girls

Where we left off the group was being attacked by a Gaint Fiendish Cobra. Know that fake deity that the head kobold was worshiping? The one that Gram summoned? Yea... Same thing but real.

Battle! 

Now the group not only has their normal set up, but they also have a very accomplished rouge (the girl) and two dire rats!!!

Ok. Now only one dire rat. Little Eddy... Uh... Well he was very enthusiastic. 

Yea little Eddy got eaten. He was very brave and charged in to kill the snake, in service if his new master who rescued him from a horrible life circumstance. But saddly the little guy just wasn't fast enough. Take comfort in that he died quickly. 

Now everyone one is MAADDDDDDDD. 

Frankly I feel sad for the snake. 

The whole group goes to work, hitting that snake with everything they got. Funny enough, Big Eddy gets some REALLY good hits. Go rat!

So fairly basic battle. Gram gets knocked out I'm sure. I think Qila also gets hit pretty bad. But they keep going and eventually take down the giant snake. Which is awesome. (Sorry. I really don't remember how this battle went. -10 points.)

Once dead, the snake sort of... Deflates. And what's left is the cobra from before, also dead. Gram, always looking for ingredients or getting knocked out, decideds to grab one of the snake fangs. Ornak also grabs one which comes in handy later ;). 

So the snake is dead. The girl is saved. The kobolds have been swept under the proverbial rug. Good job team Alpha Wolf  Squadron! (New name? I think yes.) 

So the girl, whose name is Charity, decides she'd better explain herself... But before she did she wanted to take them to her home so they could understand better. So she leads them back through the sewers down one of the paths they didn't take and eventually make it to a deep chasm in the sewer floor. It's way to far across to jump and climb. But, they all see Charity push one of the stones on the wall, and it lowered a sort of platform for them to walk across. When on the other side, she raises the platform. 

A few seconds later she was at the castle. (No saddly... Not really a castle. It's actually just a large empty room made into a makeshift house. In the corner were two more girls, younger than Charity. 

They are her sisters. 

She introduces them as Hope and Grace, and then explains... That Grace is very sick. :( 

She has a rare disease that is expensive to cure. Charity had been stealing things to save up money... But didn't have nearly enough. What she did have was saved in a small metal box that she had enchanted to teleport people away from it. 

O_O oops. 

The decide to return the money (much to the displeasure if Gram) but end up keeping the ring cause it's awesome. 

Now I'm sure you're wondering what the girl has that is so horrible. It's a rare blood disease. Stickittodamonneosis. Never heard of it? You're lucky. Cause it's hell. 

So what is it that will cure the girl? Well it is rumored that there is a statutet that if you pray to it will cute anything you have, but then crumble to dust. (Opps 2: We should have saved the statue.) 

So the group decide to help out. What else can cure the disease. Feather from a great white owl. 

Ok... Not THAT white owl. I said great. As in big. Not great as in epic... Though I guess both apply. But I digress...

So it turns out, Charity is a highly skilled rouge (mentioned above), Hope is a skilled Mechanist (she made the wall thingy) and Grace is showing signs of being a Psionic (psychic). Charity offers to go with and help get the feather. Hope makes the snake fang Ornak took into a snake fang javelin. And Grace... Cute little Grace... Walks up to Qila and asks "please... I want to go with you on adventures too. *cough cough*"

After some though they decided that was a bad idea. But the couldn't just leave them in the sewer. 

They all talk about it and agree that they need to take the girls topside. They head back through the sewers and make it out. Now to an inn to get the girls a room and even managed to find a small mechanist shop for the second girl to work it :) awesome! 

Now to find that feather.... 

RETRACTION: I MESSED UP THIS PART. ORNAK IS THE ONE WENT TO THE SHOP. HOWEVER THIS NEXT PARAGRAPH ABOUT GRAM IS 100% ACCURATE.

Now Gram, while tiny and weaker than Percy Weasleys swag game, is well versed in the ways of charisma. And he's fairly attractive, as said before. So he decideds to head to some of the apothecaries in order to procure said great white owl feather. 

This is what happens:

Ornak: yo! What's up playa? I be needin dem great white owl leafs, if you know what I be sayin? They dope for supa swag, amiright? #yoloswagins #fellowshipofthebling

Shopkeeper: eh?

Ornak: I would like to procure of the feather belonging to the great white owl, my good sir. 

Shopkeeper: ha! Want some dragons teeth too? Or maybe my firstborn? 

Ornak: I don't appreciate the snark. 

A few shops later Gram fondly finds out that there are NO owl feathers in town BUT they can retrieve them from a mountain nearby. 

Awesome!!

The group gathers together and start talking about how to get out.

(And don't suggest a giant slide, or a trampoline... Cause we already tried those...)

That's when Charity pipes up and tells then she knows how to get them out! Through the sewers... Again. 

The group sets out, taking Charity with them as she's sneaky and awesome. She leads them through the sewer to a new room. She walks across no problem, however, the rest of the group nearly gets eaten. 

I give you!!!! The giant fiendish crocodile!!! (Totally crocodiles in the sewer... Not alligators.) 

There is no way they are going to beat this thing... Lucky! Tis' asleep. So they should be able to sneak past pretty easily... 

Except one problem. Gram.

He is about as sneaky and a fat guy at a Buffett. 

So here's the plan... Throw him. 

Ornak makes it across. Readies himself. He is SOOOOOOO ready. 

Vaylan is gonna trow him aaaaannnnddd... Gram wiggles away and runs across. Thankfully he didn't wake up the crocodile... Lame. 

So they are all across and head to the surface!!! What adventures will they encounter next? Join us next time on Pokemon! 

Ok... So chasing Charity

We last left off with the small girl  that the team was chasing falling from a wall she had attempted to scale, which also happened to be in a room filled with kobolds (chihuahua dragons) who are doing some sort of ritual. After a quick thinking session, the group decides to charge in and save the girl!

Before they do, they decide to figure out what the ritual is. It turns out that they are trying to summon their snake deity, Ouroboros... And that gives the wizard a GREAT idea. He is going to cast a Silent image of their deity in order to fool them into thinking their ritual worked. All five of the kobolds stop to look at the deity... and three of them (including the really big one who was in the center of the alter) drop to their knees and start worshiping the image. And they worship it HARD. The other two are still heading toward the little girl who fell.

So the team charges in.

(Sadly, I'm a little fuzzy on how all this worked out.)

 I can tell you that at some point the two kobolds grab the girl and start running for a door on the right side of the room. The are slow going since they have to carry a kicking screaming girl. Qila rushes over to help, ends up beating someone up along the way. Ornak goes to work on the kobold Priest who was STILL worshiping the fake deity WHILE being poked repeatedly with javelins. Vaylan (His name is spelled with a "Y". I was informed last night...)  takes out another kobold and then goes toe to... I don't know what to put here... not toe... snakes don't have toes... toe to underbelly? toe to fang? I don't know... He starts fighting the snake that was with the priest on his own. Lastly Gram does something to sneak around and kill another kobold that had run for the other door, but somehow got knocked out.

So, before the priest snaps out of it, Ornak skewers him nice and pretty (which is sad... dude didn't even get to use any of his awesome spells to try and kill any of them.) Qila chases the other kobolds (the ones carrying the girl) to the other door. Those kobolds knock out Gram AGAIN after he was revived. Vaylan is still fighting the snake, which keeps dodging his attacks, so it's not dead yet.

That is when the preist finally breaks from the spell and turns to attack, only to be killed instantly. (Sadly don'y recall who actually did the killing but I'm 90% sure it was Ornak).

That's when the snake STOPPED attacking. Weird right? It just says "Nah man... I'm cool for now. I'm just gonna do snake things and slither on over to the alter and take a nap, aight?" (Disclaimer: snake doesn't actually say this.)

Vaylan a a little befuddled but hey, it's just a snake. They're weird dudes. So he rushes over to help Qila save the little girl. And completely obliterates one of the Kobolds carting her towards the door. But the other one just keeps on trucking, dragging the girl along, and makes it through the door. Now all the adventurers are after them.

This is what the group did

They chase the last kobold into the hall and see him still dragging the little girl along. He is also moving surprisingly quick for someone who is dragging a kicking and screaming little girl down a hallway.  He makes it to the end of the hall and turns left through a door, Vaylan right behind him. 

When he enters the door the kobold just rushed through he sees something that is... well a tad disturbing. 

It's not the blood thirsty Kobold holding a dagger to the girls throat. It's not the desperate and terrified look in the girls eyes. 

It IS the fact that there is a huge mound of rotting, half eaten corpses on the other side of the room.  Bodies stolen from the battle field (4 Winds is in the middle of a huge battle right now, remember) and used as the Kobold's food source. 

The Kobold, feeling cornered, and also being about as smart as the knife he's holding, decides his best chance is to charge the giant bear-thing holding the giant sword. Excellent! 

He dies. 

And the girl is saved!!! WAAAAAAAAA! (that is the sound of excitement and victory)  

Now comes the BIG question:
What are they gonna do about the girl? She did cause them a lot of trouble today. She stole the totem, the lead them into the sewer WHERE the half-ork got filth fever, the halfling projectile vomited and got her leg stuck, the wizard got knocked out a LOT, and I'm sure the werebear was mildly uncomfortable too.

Awwwwwwwwww

So what to do? Now, Ornak is a half-ork. Which means he is from a slightly barbaric race. Maybe the thought crossed his mind, "Hey... she doesn't really NEED to live."
But I doubt it, he's a good guy. And besides, right at that moment the girl runs up to all of them to give them hugs for saving her.


So she's fine.
Now the group doesn't want to go back the way they came so they decide to take a door to the left. When they enter, it is OBVIOUS that this damp, musty room is the nesting room for the kobold's. They start searching around cause hey, there might be some cook stuff amongst the matted straw and gnawed on bones.
They do find some cool stuff. One of which is a scroll that says "Zodiac" on it, but they can't translate it anymore than that.

They also find two more dire rats!!!!!!One is normal size and one is BIG (bigger than the halfling big), but these ones are chained to the wall as guard... rats? Yea. Guard rats. (Background: the idea was these rats were going to break out of their chains when the adventurers weren't paying attention and attack.)

But that was BEFORE Vaylan decided to make them his pets... He walks over, unchains them, and they are INSTANTLY best friends. And then, LIGHT BULB MOMENT! Give the big one to halfing to ride around so she can keep up because she has tiny legs.








So now the halfing has a steed... named Big Eddy (the little one is called Little Eddy.)








                                                                                                                                                                     
Now the group notices that  there isn't anywhere else to go from that room, meaning they will have to go through the ritual chamber in order to make it back to the main sewer in order to get out.

:)

When they enter the ritual chamber, they know pretty quick that something is wrong. Namely, a large purple pillar of light shooting upward from the alter, with the snake from earlier slowly growing in size. (Yea, that epic snake deicded "Know what? I'm gonna complete the ritual by MY SELF! I don't need no kobold! I am a strong independant reptile, and I'll do what I want!" *head wobble*)

So now... there is a giant snake in the center of the room, and the only way to get out is through it.

Ok.. So you meet in a tavern part 2

Last time we left off our half-orc (Who's name is Ornak by the way. Not Ornack. I fail as a DM...) was sick with FILTH FEVER! (dunn dunn dunn dunnnnnnnnn) Now this is pretty serious. He had a fever, he was shaking, he had snot bubbles popping all over the place. Maybe had a rash... purple nose hair, I don't know. Anyway, he' sick. So the group is trying to figure out what to do to heal him (they don't have any potions and they tried healing him but nothing really works.) So thinking about it, they realize that the small statue they found was a Healing Deity (unnamed). So, in a moment of inspiration, Ornak prays to the deity statue and *chorus of heavenly tones* (large burst of light).

Boom. Healed.

Slightly anticlimactic but hey, we needed to get rolling. Oh, and then the statue crumbles into dust. MUAHAHAHAHAHA! It was a one hit thingy.

Now... back to the chest.. Now they know it is trapped so the halfling sets to work with the wizard to disarm the spell and open it up. They find some gold and some potions and an EMPATHY RING. (Pretty cool. If the wearer is attacked they become linked to the attacker. The wearer can feel everything the attacker feels *which kinda sucks if you attack them back* but the upside is they take a part of the damage they do to you!!) I'm pretty sure Vailan takes the ring... of power... just kidding not that ring...

Moving on!

When the group finally gets their loot they head out and they have a few choices to where they go. They have two doors that lead down OR they can go back they way they came and take an off shoot path that they bypassed earlier. they go for the offshoot path (win).

It's pretty long and winding but eventually they get to a room. This is what happened:

They enter yon dungeon. The obvious exits where north, east, and Dennis. In the center of the room is ye flask.

Ornak wanted to get ye flask.

But he could not get ye flask... and he was sad...

Next Qila (the halfling) tries to get ye flask and succeeds. (Rule is the first person to try can't retrieve ye flask).

On inspection of the flask they figure out it's a darkness potion. What does it do, you ask? darkness potion? Does it summon darkness? Does is give you a sick tan? Does it make the person who drinks it evil? It... well I have no idea actually. I'll decide later.

They leave yon dungeon and go back to the room with the chest. they go through one door and it actually loops back to the previous path. HA!

So they go through the second door and come to a fork in the road. They can go straight which would be OK. But they notice that the path to their right seems a little odd... it gives off a cold feeling and they don't like it... so straight it is!

A few meters later they are in water again. Ornak is a little better now since the water isn't really deep. But that was before they get to the sewage (it's a sewer. of course there is sewage.) They all start feeling a little sick, and Ornak being nice, decides to carry Qila since she is tiny and the water is up to her knees. (OH! she is also 2'9" not... whatever height I said earlier. She corrected me.) But still, she is tiny.

So Ornak is carrying Qila and well... it's gross. And the halfling throws up. A lot. BUT! Thankfully Ornak holds her out by the collar of shirt so she doesn't projectile vomit on him. Good Job Ornak. Good job.

Eventually they get out of the sewage and make it to a dry part of the sewers. But sadly, the path is blocked. It looks like part of the walls have caved in. They start searching around for secret tunnels (they know me so well) and that is when a dire rat jumps out! (Big rat thing. Really ugly.)

Sadly I don't recall how this battle went. I'm pretty sure everyone got a pretty good hit on it. So they kill the rat. Awesome. (10 points!)

And THAT is when the find the secret tunnel. Qila can walk through no problem. Everyone else, including the 5'2" human wizard, have to get on their hands and knees and crawl. Sadly, there is a another slug waiting to ambush them. Qila gets hit pretty hard with some acid that the slug spits out. (Again... can't remember how this fight went. All that matters is that the slug got le squished).

Now this path can go left or right. Thankfully they are on solid ground so Vailan can use track when on solid ground and he knows the little girl went right. They follow the path up and find another door that isn't stuck so it's opened pretty quick... and that's when they hear the voices. It's kind of an odd hissing sound but it is definitely two or more people talking. A few of them notice some kobolds.

This is a kobold. They are related to dragons but sort of the same way a chihuahua is still related to a wolf. Small, weak, kinda stupid. They aren't to difficult to deal with. There are two of them and they are just chatting about baseball or something like that. They are probably Dodgers fans.

Now they know from the tapestry in the chest room that these guys are probably from the Snake Head clan who HATE humans. Hate hate. Not "OMG i h8 hoomans #death #murder #iatethebones #srynotsry #yourewelcome" hate. This is a "May the wrath of a thousand paper cuts descend upon you while it rains fiery lemon juice and your favorite show is canceled after a season finale cliff hanger" hate.

So the adventurers decide to be a bit more cautious with these guys (Namely they leave the one human out in the hallway so it doesn't enrage them).

The plan: have Vailan approach the kobolds and see if he can get any information. Qila will be waiting as back up, and Ornak has a few javelins at the ready. Needless to say, the kobolds are not overly happy to see them. Still Vailan does his best to talk to them except he says something wrong and a fight breaks out. Shouldn't be a big deal right?

Well, that was before Qila got her leg stuck trying to climb over a pile of rubble... and then is stuck for the remainder of the fight.  Gram (the wizard) tries to sneak in and help... but he doesn't make it very far. He doesn't get injured but... yea... doesn't make it very far at all.

Now enter the real heroes of this battle. Vailan and Ornak. Vailan, in his half bear form, shreds one of the kobolds. Bear style!!!!!

Next Ornak, through a volley of javelins, makes sure the second kobold is made into a fine pin cushion.

Boom. Done.

They loot the bodies, don't really find much, and decide to keep going. (Oh, and Ornak retrieves the halfling from the rubble.) They do some first aid and they are back to full health!

Now they adventurers leave the room and head down the hallway (there is only one direction to go). At the end of the hallway, they see another Kobold. This one isn't paying attention so they decide to rush it and kill it before it has the chance to look around. Which they do. They just weren't counting on the next one around the corner. It was Qila who dispatched this one, smacking it down like the hand of Pelor.

Good job team!

The group has on boots. And those boots are made for walking. So that's just what they'll do.
Their boots are gonna walk through some poo... (again... they are in a sewer.)

But as they go down the hallway they start to feel something again... cold... fearful... It was that same feeling they had earlier next to the other passage. But this was the only place to go so they march on. They head into some more water... but this water is deep red. The halfling looks it over and realizes... it's blood. It's a lot of blood mixed with water. (WHAT THE @#@)*!!#&&*!!!!!)

They march on and get to a door. This door is locked, so Qila goes to work and opens it silently. When they look inside, there is an alter in the middle of a dimly lit room. 4 kobolds are chanting around it, with a large (and i mean LARGE) kobold standing at top the alter next to a small cobra. Confused, the group looks around the room for a second and notices the girl scaling the wall. She is about half way across and the kobolds haven't seen her yet...

But then she slips.

She screams as she falls and it catches the kobolds attention.
And they advance on her.

What will they do now? Leave the girl to die and get back Ornak's totem? Or fight off the kobolds to save the girl?